A life cut short
can make one wonder.
God, you never really know .
It may sound cliche
but I guess you do have to live every day to its fullest.
I’ve spent so many years being miserable,
wishing I was someone else,
wanting to change everything about my appearance,
feeling inadequate, scared, and alone.
And even though it’s a pretty miserable existence
it provides quite a safe environment
because if you don’t take any risks
there is no room for failure.
Life is a scary journey
and nothing is ever set in stone.
So when a life of someone you love is tragically cut short
it makes you think
of how many things you want or need to do.
But fear is a very powerful fixation to overcome
Fear prohibits you
Fear can overcome you
Fear can and will prevail if you let it.
There are so many beautiful things life has to offer…
the first cry of a newborn baby,
the smell in the air before it rains,
the falling of winter’s first snow,
the bond of a true friendship,
the love of family,
the sound of laughter,
and the unconditional feeling of love in an everlasting relationship.
The reality is that we all, in one way or another, have taken these things for granted.
So maybe that is the reason why
I live in my safe, protected little world
so that I do not have to face the reality
that this life does have so much to offer
and I really have not and can not take advantage of it.
It is hard for me to accept that.
Life is what you make of it
and although you cannot always control what life brings
you can control how you react to every given situation.
I may never be the kind of person who is bold and courageous,
but I also don’t want life to pass me by.
So, for tonight I’m going to pray for the strength, just the strength
to face whatever may come my way.
And for me, that is enough….for now.