Fear

A life cut short

can make one wonder.

God, you never really know .

It may sound cliche

but I guess you do have to live every day to its fullest.

I’ve spent so many years being miserable,

wishing I was someone else,

wanting to change everything about my appearance,

feeling inadequate, scared, and alone.

And even though it’s a pretty miserable existence

it provides quite a safe environment

because if you don’t take any risks

there is no room for failure.

Life is a scary journey

and nothing is ever set in stone.

So when a life of someone you love is tragically cut short

it makes you think

of how many things you want or need to do.

But fear is a very powerful fixation to overcome

Fear prohibits you

Fear can overcome you

Fear can and will prevail if you let it.

There are so many beautiful things life has to offer…

the first cry of a newborn baby,

the smell in the air before it rains,

the falling of winter’s first snow,

the bond of a true friendship,

the love of family,

the sound of laughter,

and the unconditional feeling of love in an everlasting relationship.

The reality is that we all, in one way or another, have taken these things for granted.

So maybe that is the reason why

I live in my safe, protected little world

so that I do not have to face the reality

that this life does have so much to offer

and I really have not and can not take advantage of it.

It is hard for me to accept that.

Life is what you make of it

and although you cannot always control what life brings

you can control how you react to every given situation.

I may never be the kind of person who is bold and courageous,

but I also don’t want life to pass me by.

So, for tonight I’m going to pray for the strength, just the strength

to face whatever may come my way.

And for me, that is enough….for now.

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